Always trying to be right.

Needing to be the center of attraction.

Namedropping.

Self-consciousness.

Speaking over people.

Raising your voice.

The list goes on and on.

I possessed these in some shape or another but in the past few months it hit me that all these lead to one thing: Ego.

In other words, the Ego always wants to feel good.

What will you lose if you are not right in a discussion? Nothing.

What will you lose if you don’t get attention? Nada.

Will someone listen to you better if you speak over them? Nope.

Will raising your voice get your point across better? Not a chance.

It’s that simple. Pleasing your ego usually leads to nothing productive. In fact it hurts you more than help.

So how did I learn this? Well, a combination of things.

I assessed the people I really respected around me like friends, family, mentors, co-workers etc.

It didn’t take much time to learn that these people were high performers, intellectual and well-respected but didn’t have an ego.

You see, the people who are really confident don’t need to be the center of attraction. The fact that they can let others have the limelight itself is a testament to that.

They listen to others and then let their opinions be heard without being firm about it. They’re happy to be wrong.

The next time you catch yourself doing one of the things I mentioned in the beginning, question yourself if it was actually worth it. Chances are it won’t be.

I’m certainly not 100% perfect yet but 50% is better than 0% :)