I want to be liked. We all do. In fact “belonging” is part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Being liked by everyone was a big deal for me. I could never stand that thought of someone not liking me.
But a few months ago when I turned 20, reality hit me.
I realized that there’s no possibility that every person I meet is going to like me. The truth is that you will click with some people and you just won’t with some.
A few incidents forced me to change.
Few friends and acquaintances I used to be close with faded away. I tried to find reasons but failed.
I couldn’t get on the same wavelength of one of the co-founders for a startup I worked with.
Most recently I wrote a blog post to stand up for young people and tell employers to understand them. A popular marketer I mentioned in the post decided to turn the topic on its head. His fans wrote lots of interesting responses to say the least. I almost didn’t sleep that night looking at them.
It bugs the hell out of me if someone gets even remotely upset with me. Then I end up wasting a lot energy thinking about it which results in stress. But I’m trying to change that.
As they say, “What people think of you is none of your business.”
Of course I will try to find the reason when someone is upset and apologize if it’s my fault but if it’s not clear, I’ll try to move on.
Though I may not be a huge fan of Paul Graham, I’ve decided to take one of his product advice and use it in my personal life: “It’s better to have 100 people love you than a 1000 people sort of like you.”
Om Malik’s grandfather told him: “Don’t bank money, bank people.”
I heard the quote recently and just couldn’t get it out of my head. I’ve always valued people and relationships more than money but that quote cemented that thought.
So my goal is to bank those 100 people. I know I’ve got two aka my parents. That’s a start.
None of this means that I’m going to be a snob and say “I am who I am” and “Haters gonna hate.” I am constantly trying to grow as a person and a professional.
Constructive criticism is always welcome and I always love to ask for feedback to improve myself.
What I will stop caring about is if someone mistakes my honest nature for being arrogant.
What I will stop caring about is if someone doesn’t like my writing. I write from the heart. Hey you might not like this post and that’s completely acceptable.
I obviously won’t be keeping an actual list of 100 people that love me but I hope to get to that number through helping, writing, my project, sticking to my values, accepting mistakes, taking a stand, and being myself
p.s Tweet me your thoughts @thesmitpatel